Adventures of an Idiot – occasional ramblings of a photography freak

Just had an absolutely super day!

Despite all the omens.

Well, despite the weather at least.

Cos it was grey. It was chilly. It was damp. In fact, it was wet… quite wet. Cos it was raining. About the only thing missing were gale force winds. But the weather’s always unco-operative like that, innit?

Ahem… really shouldn’t use that expression “innit” for I genuinely do detest it. Typical Bedfordian chav-type expression spewing forth from the mouths of those who know little better, can’t be bothered to learn, and don’t see the point anyway. So they tack it on to the end of almost every sentence, regardless. But hey, I’m in Bedfordshire so let’s be like the locals, innit!

Now where was I?

Ah yes, the weather. Well, today had been pencilled in for a little photo jaunt with a new-found Flickr chum.
Arrangements duly made, with just a passing and little considered reference to “weather permitting”, sure enough we hook up late morning in the middle of a very soggy town centre.

Ho hum.

Adjourn to the nearest coffee shop then whilst we review the prospects.

“Well, I’m ok with it”, says one, “what about you?”

“Yeah, I’m ok with it. You?”

This bounces back and forth a coupla times and there’s me thinking “ey up, ‘ere’s a bloke after me own ‘eart”; ‘cept strictly speaking she wasn’t actually a bloke. But that’s completely beside the point.

So we sally forth in challenge to the elements, accompanied by the slight inconvenience of not quite having managed to work out any sort of plan or itinerary for ourselves. Oh well. That’s about par for the course. For me anyway.

And find ourselves snapping a few pics of the market… and exchanging remarks with an interested market trader and an intrigued passer-by who clearly thought we were both nuts to be out photographing in the rain. Either that or extremely dedicated. But missing the most obvious explanation… hey, its fun!

Then amble on a bit more, still completely planless, and what’s this I find? Well well well, what a surprise. Somehow we seem to have ended up by the river. Now isn’t that just so unusual! It must be all of… ooh… a week at least since I was last round this way.

Shouldn’t really be named the “Ouse” at all. It should be named the “Sucks”. Cos it sucks one toward it. Or seems to. But then again, “The River Sucks” doesn’t really sound quite right somehow.

Snapping our way along then, oodles of shots begins to mark the re-appearance of a phrase that rapidly transforms into the motto of the day. A phrase with which I’m well familiar, and generally doesn’t bode well…

“Hey, this looks great… on the LCD!”

Ah yes. That phrase.

And boy has it lived up to its promise. In my case at least. No doubt I’ll find out in due course how well companion did, but I bet she ends up with more keepers than I. Pooh!
Nevertheless, I’m reasonably well satisfied with those that have sort of worked.

And there’s one particular little series that truly delights me.

There we were, wandering along by the river, crossing a little footbridge, pausing to snap some fungi sort of stuff on a tree stump cos that’s the type of thing photographers do, innit…

… then, rounding a bend, our two voices can be heard exclaiming in joyful and unplanned unison… “Shoes!”

There, spread out before us, by the water’s edge, were loads of discarded trainers. Only a nutty photo addict can truly appreciate the sheer excitement and glee in such an unexpected discovery.
On second thoughts, chavs would probably have appreciated it too. Regarded it as a sort of windfall and made off with them all.

Presumably they’d been hastily shed by folk even dafter than we… members of the local rowing club, eager to get out on the water regardless of these miserably dank conditions. Takes all sorts I s’pose.

Onward then, and a few shots later finds us contemplating the temptations of another coffee. Succumbing, we leave the river behind in search of a suitable house of refreshment.
And a bit of a natter about Life, the Universe, and stuff in general.

Bodily needs attended to, more food for the spirit as, like filings to a magnet, the river draws us back for more pics of gorgeously moist scenery.

All good things must come to an end of course, and eventually companion has to shoot off so I, seemingly guided by some sort of autopilot, find myself mysteriously back at The Bear where my favourite pastime of trying to irritate the hell out of mate has to be indulged. Innit.

That done, onward to the shops for some much-needed provisions, then wend my way home.

And this is where it all begins to go slightly downhill. In the metaphorical sense. Cos the homeward journey, literally speaking, is largely uphill. But that’s neither here nor there. Which is where you are when you’re on a bus. Neither here nor there.

(I do so wish I could stop these digressions, but my mind just gets carried away on its own sometimes. Hmm. How I seriously wish it would!)

Back on track then…

Y’see, throughout the course of the entire day I’d managed to remain relatively wet-free. The waterproof jacket helped somewhat of course (they very often do), as did a bloody stupid-looking hat to which I’d treated myself yesterday, that now turns out to be quite water-resistant, warm, and amazingly comfortable. (And I’m a hero for continuing to wear it after all the mickey-taking that mate enjoyed at my expense!)
As for the damp patches on the knees (whaddya expect if you absolutely must go kneeling around in puddles and stuff?), well, I wasn’t too fussed about those.

But Fate was not to be cheated.

There was I, sat quietly on the bus minding my own business when I get this strange sensation that my leg’s beginning to feel increasingly… er… damp. Not to put too fine a point on it, quite wet in fact.

Pretending nothing’s amiss (don’t want to draw attention to myself now do I?) much of the journey is occupied by my placidly mulling over the possibility that perhaps the senility about which I so often jest is in fact a disturbing reality.
Yet I’m certain I visited the loo, on at least two different occasions, during the course of today’s little adventure. Once in the middle of our jaunt, and once back at The Bear. I’m sure I did. Didn’t I?

Hmm.

But then, as I alight from the bus, the truth is finally revealed.

Quite clearly the sodding top must have worked loose on the bottle of milk I bought in the shop and the bloody stuff has leaked out of the bottom of the bag… which I was nursing on my lap… and all down the side of my leg!

Of course, if I had more than one brain cell I would’ve realised that had it truly been some less wholesome… er… fluid, then it likely would have been warm wet rather than cold wet. But then, stupidity’s something of a speciality with me. I’m beginning to suspect I’ve almost refined it into an artform in fact!

Dammit! Hell, double dammit!

So the walk home from the bus-stop was something along the lines of step step shake, step step shake… etc. Just as well it was dark else this unusual gait may have caused some merriment to the natives.

But at least its something of a relief to know that the senility’s not quite as advanced as I was beginning to suspect (hell, incontinence is so… um… wet); and it can’t detract from my having had a thoroughly enjoyable day.

Innit.

[I know why I've written the following. Not too sure why I've decided to publish it though. However, I suppose its fairly consistent with the motivation behind this blog, which was to share my "adventures", cock-ups and general incompetencies in the world of photography (oftentimes engaging the tongue-in-cheek and self-disparaging slant that I find so appealing) with others who have been recently bitten by the bug.
So it made some sort of sense to post this here as well.
However, its intended as a genuine self-appraisal; not as a means of eliciting support or encouragement from those kind enough to visit here, amongst whom I count a number of new(ish)-found friends ("new" as in "since I've been into this photography caper").
Nor as a roundabout way of inviting unwanted "critique". In that context, sod off with your opinions... I've far more than enough of my own thankyou very much!
Consequently, and with no offence intended nor any especial desire to be "unsocial", I've disabled comments for this particular post.
Its solely a vehicle for sharing some of my innermost thoughts/feelings rather than a topic for discussion. If readers gain anything from it at all... even if just a few giggles and a feeling of superiority, well, that's a bonus.
And if it should perchance encourage one or two others, who may have been tempted to fall by the photographic wayside, to persevere well, so much the better.]

Sections

Background
Flickr
Failings
Lessons
Perceptions
Wrap-up

Here we are then; practically the arse-end of 2009 and its been some three plus years that I’ve been into this digital photography lark.

A number of different, and possibly unconnected, factors have led to the convergence represented by this post that, to all intents and purposes, is a sort of self-appraisal.

Background

It was some time in ‘06 that I acquired my first digital camera, a Konica-Minolta DiMAGE Z6. A “compact digital”, somewhat larger than your average point’n’shoot. And, being furnished with one of the largest optical zooms then available (12x!) I s’pose it would (then) have fallen into the class of what are now called “ultrazooms”.

Dunno. Didn’t know much about cameras then… and I still don’t!

Not that such lack of knowledge has ever particularly concerned me. In the realm of photographic equipment at least. And indeed other things.
I’ve always been a dedicated believer not just in the saying that “Ignorance is Bliss” but also that ignorance renders possible those things that to a more “informed” person are completely unattainable.
In fact, most of my life has been spent doing things that far more knowledgeable people than I have said I shouldn’t be able to do.
I suspect its similar to the story about the bumble bee being able to fly simply because no-one’s explained to it that, according to certain fundamental scientific principles, it actually can’t!
Call it an unbridled faith in the inherent benevolence, positivity and “wanting to-ness” of the Cosmos if you like.

Anyway, digressions aside…

Y’see, I didn’t get into photography because it interested me, or because it was something I particularly wanted to do.
Though I guess I’ve always harboured a secret hankering for photographic gear (cameras and lenses especially), even way back in the days of film cameras.
Not because I ever believed I could really use the stuff. It was much more the attraction of simply handling something that was precision-made and is, well, nice to handle. Any well-made instrument or even highly machined tool excites the same fascination in me… an appreciation possibly of fine workmanship and engineering. Examples of true craftsmanship that I admire intensely, regardless of whether I can use them or even know what they’re for.

Finely machined mechanisms; “bits” that glide smoothly yet positively in relation to one another; knurled knobs and beautifully engineered components; switches, levers and buttons with a firm, positive action; any of them, when forming parts of a complete whole, crafted with obvious attention to detail, have always entranced me.
And many cameras and lenses, especially from the more reputable manufacturers, seem to fall within this “profile”. Sadly, in so many instances, plastic or similar has replaced more sturdy materials, but the “manufacturing ethic” where quality of product is pre-eminent still appears to prevail in some companies despite such changes in materials.

My very first skirmish with photography was when I was a mere kid, and mum bought me a Kodak Brownie… a plastic-bodied (I think it was plastic at least… maybe bakelite?) equivalent of today’s point’n’shoots I suppose.
Dead easy to use and I had some fun times with it. No idea how long I had it, or what happened to it. Must have been left behind somewhere in one of the many moves that adorned my childhood.

But even then photography wasn’t really a deeply-rooted interest, nor a hobby. The Brownie just happened to be a useful little thing to take with me on days out, holidays and suchlike. And it was quite fun getting the films developed (usually at Woolworths as I seem to recollect) to discover which ones had “turned out” well. More by luck than judgement of course.
The rest of the time the camera was probably tucked away in some cupboard somewhere.

Move on a few years then (quite a few years actually) and some time in my early 30s saw me running my own studio as a freelance graphic artist/designer. Which represented a marriage between my chosen career (the printing industry) and one of my preferred hobbies, drawing and painting pictures and stuff and playing with arrangements of spaces.

Left all that behind a long time ago now, but at its peak I invested fairly significantly in a whole bunch of photographic kit. Prompted by the realisation that, in the course of my work, I was beginning to spend a small fortune on commissioning photographers to “do stuff” for me.
And, as a businessman, outsourcing work (and missing out on another opportunity to acquire more dosh, damned capitalist that I was) rankled somewhat.

Hence the huge investment in camera, lenses, photofloods, and what-have-you.
Only to discover I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, couldn’t even get to grips with the basics, and had neither time nor real interest in mastering the learning curve (it seemed much harder with film photography!).

“Why arse around with all this nonsense”, thought I, “when I’m already very successfully doing what I’m doing?”
And as I was concurrently beginning to get into computers (with which, bizarrely, I seemed to “click” almost instantly) that marked the end of my skirmishes with photography.
“Never to be repeated” I promised myself.

Sticking rigidly to that promise for, oh, quite a few years. Not terribly difficult for me because, as I said, it had never really interested me… only as a means to an end, sort of thing.

And there’s the key I suppose.

For move forward a few years (to 2006 in fact) and it was suggested to me by a (then recently acquired) friend that a camera would be a useful adjunct for certain of my other activities. Activities that involved a particular type of newsworthy events and my documenting thereof.

Nuff said about that. Sufficient to say that as a result of a number of conversations with said friend I acquired the aforementioned digital camera.
Not that I used it very much. I appreciated the fact that it appeared to be well made, but it just didn’t do the trick for me. Means to an end again y’see. Rather than an end in itself.

But then I made the foolish mistake of upgrading to something slightly better… a dSLR no less (albeit an entry-level one, the Canon EOS 400D).

Oh dear. Bad move!

For I found that I was gradually starting to carry this with me virtually everywhere. And was beginning to snap stuff just for… er… fun. Oops!

Ok. That’s the background. So here I am, three years plus down the road, with digital cameras of one sort or another (seven at last count, plus masses of ancillary kit, plus two film cameras would you believe) littering up the homestead, and beginning to ask myself “Where the hell am I going with this?”

At the most superficial level its one of my “professional occupations” (being a bit of a jack-of-all-trades, and totally consistent with the ambiguity and ambivalence that seems to characterise me, I have more than one).
On a more personal level though, and rather scarily, it also seems to have become rather more than “an interest”. Having lasted for over three years its certainly more than a passing fad.

Photography, for me at least, seems to have transformed into an end in itself. Oh dear oh bloody dear.

But have I actually managed to achieve anything with it in the past three years or so?
Well, for starters, I still find it very difficult (almost impossible in fact) to think of myself as a “photographer”. In my mind I’m still just a “happy snapper”, and feel very little inclination to aspire to anything else.

Yet of course that’s not strictly true. If I have any aspiration at all with regard to all this photography nonsense, I suppose its simply that the camera should become nothing other than an extension of myself, to be employed without conscious thought or effort.

And the genuine happy snapper would be totally content with things “as is”, rarely striving to change or to improve. Indeed, possibly not even perceiving the potential for improvement inherent in the pastime.

Whereas I do. Unfortunately.

Flickr

This blog is, by intent and design, the companion blog to my Flickr photostream. (Bear with me… the relevance will become apparent!)

I first opened a Flickr account way back in June of ‘06 upon the recommendation of a friend (who, in the intervening years, curiously seems to have become almost totally anti-Flickr) and despite a few gripes I had, and still have, it remains my favourite photo-sharing site.
Yes, I’ve tried a few others, but Flickr still seems to me to be the leader of the pack.

For starters its bloody good value for money. Where else could you get virtually unlimited storage and virtually unlimited bandwidth, plus all the content management and accessibility options, for an annual fee that’s really just inconsequential pocket-money? (Yeah, I know, SmugMug, Zooomr, Ipernity et al… looked at them. All of them. And still prefer Flickr!)
Plus its dead easy to use. Plus it has an almost addictive social networking aspect if that’s your thing. And it can boast an incredibly huge user-base. Possibly the largest photo-orientated one on the Web.

And that of course is, for me at least, the deal-maker.

For it gives me easy access to the photographic output of literally millions of people, with all manner of interests, and at almost every skill-level imaginable. The range of talent thereon (and lack of it!) is truly phenomenal.

Which “benefit” is a bit bizarre, considering I’ve never really been all that interested in photography. Yet I’ve discovered I really do enjoy looking at other peoples’ pics. What they’re photographing. What interests them. How they approach their subject-matter. How they process their pics. And so on.

Browsing through the many various Flickr photostreams is at one and the same time an inspiring and a truly depressing experience.
Inspiring for so often I find images that move me, or styles and techniques that I want to attempt for myself.

And depressing because all too often I cannot avoid comparing what I see there with what I produce… and come away with the thought “Shit, I’ll never be that good”. A thought so devastating sometimes that I’m tempted to simply chuck the whole photography caper.
“What’s the use? I simply haven’t got what it takes.” And at that point I reflect upon all my shortcomings.

Failings

I don’t have the vision to see the potential in a scene.
Don’t have the imagination to create truly stunning and memorable images.
Don’t have the patience to make my pictures technically faultless.
Don’t have the dedication to master the finer points of photography.
Don’t have the motivation to take the whole business in the least seriously.

Unfortunately, I do have the vision to appreciate how monotonous and second-rate most of my pics are.
Do have the imagination to conceive how my images could be so much better.
Do have the patience to scrutinise my pics in detail and notice all their technical imperfections.
Do have the dedication to keep on trying, albeit unsuccessfully… over and over again.

But I still don’t have the motivation to take it at all seriously!

Talk about being in a bit of a cleft stick!

And all of which is to say nothing of the frustration at seeming to be completely unable to capture or reproduce most scenes precisely as I see them.
Nor am I content to accept that as simply a limitation of the equipment. In part, yes. But a far larger part is my own failure to master the skills and techniques involved.
And the problem here is, I positively refuse to be told anything by anyone else. Much prefer to find things out for myself, even though it generally takes far longer. Perverse, I know… but that’s the way I am.

Ok. So much for what I’ve achieved, or failed to achieve, in tangible terms. What about something rather less tangible? Have I, for example, learned anything useful?

Lessons

Well, in terms of life lessons, probably not.

In terms of photography? Hmm.

I’m certainly not aware of having increased my knowledge-base at all. Sure, I’ve learned how to use a digital camera. Well, the basics at least… though the finer points still elude me. And I can’t really be bothered to master them. Not until I perceive an immediate need to do so at least.

Like when I’m actually out photographing stuff and encounter something less than straightforward that causes me to squawk “How the hell am I gonna do this then?” and start frantically rummaging around amongst all the various settings, whilst at the same time trying to dredge up from memory all the things I’ve dismally failed to learn. Never have the manual with me of course. Why would I?

Oddly, sometimes the “non-technique” seems to work!

So I guess I’ve gained an elementary understanding of how cameras function in terms of apertures, and ISO, and exposure and stuff. (And I’ve learned when I should be using a tripod… though I rarely pay attention to that!)

Learning about photography itself? Well, I’m vaguely aware that there are “rules”… though I prefer to think of them as guidelines. Not that I worry about them too much.
The so-called “rule of thirds” for example. Yes, I’m aware of it. But I hardly ever bother with it. Not consciously at least.
The cameras I use don’t have that “thirds grid” functionality for the LCD (or if they do, I’ve never found it… nor, truth to tell, tried to look for it). Yet, bizarrely, quite a few of the pics I take seem to adhere to that “rule” (or approximately so). Believe me, its not planned that way. Its just the way I “see” things… the “composition” (to use a fancy photographic term) that seems to me to work really well for a lot of things. And I tend to find myself doing it automatically.

The number of times I’ve imported pics to Lightroom and discovered through the grid in the Develop module how precisely though unconsciously I’ve placed the “key element” in accordance with the “rule of thirds” (or nearly so, with just a minor crop) is genuinely spooky.

So, automatically, and without thinking.

Like having stuff off-centre. So off-centre in fact that very often I’ll have something on one side of a pic with empty space (practically) on t’other. Its not conscious. It just happens.

But I can’t honestly say I’ve learned any of this. Its just instinctive… or so it seems to me.

Pity then that I can’t “see” more inspiring things to shoot, or ways to capture them, or render the final images in a more inspiring or dramatic manner.

It seems, ultimately, that the one thing goading me into questing different types of subject-matter, or different ways of dealing with them, is nothing other than boredom. Boredom with the same old stuff, time after time. And that’s hardly a laudable prompt, or a tribute to any sort of worthwhile creative vision.
Not that I buy into all that crap about “communicating” something (be it a “creative vision” or whatever else) or there being a “message” in photography or whatever. That’s all just a load of old cobblers in my book. Contrived attempts to impose “meanings”.

I idly speculate sometimes that perhaps this desire and quest for “meanings” is indicative of some sort of spiritual void; a failure to find or perceive meaning in Life itself. Hence “meanings” have to be attributed to lesser things as compensation. Whereas I, inhabiting a Cosmos that is rich in meaning and significance (in my perception) have no need for such trivial devices. Maybe. Who knows? Indeed, who cares?

Y’see, on the one hand I have a nasty uncomfortable feeling that I’m actually beginning to love photography… whilst on the other I have an equally nasty suspicion that I still really don’t “get it”. Hmm. Bummer.

And I haven’t quite drifted away from the topic of Flickr yet.

Given the way that Flickr arranges/displays user uploads (the basic default photostream view), what the user has is a superb chronology of their photo ventures (assuming pics are uploaded in the order in which they’re taken of course).

And I’ve recently used this feature to review the “progress” I’ve made. Huh. That was a complete waste of time as well. Seems to me that I’m not really taking much better pics now than when I first started. Which, putting it mildly, pleases me not at all. So, best not to do that sort of review again lest I’m reminded of the progress I’ve not made.

What’s even worse, I doubt if I’m going to try any harder in the future. So why do I bother?
Well, basically because at the moment its still fun. There’s something about being out there, with a camera, doing all sorts of stupid things and getting away with it cos passers-by look and dismiss with the obvious thought “Oh, a photographer” (presumably equating “photographer” with “eccentric antics”), that really appeals to me. It sits comfortably.
There’s also something about fiddling around with tripods and lighting and nonsense for indoor shots that sits comfortably with me too.
And then there’s the added “fun” of transferring the pics to the laptop, and seeing precisely how much crap I’ve produced (my potential for crap output is a constant source of amazement to me).

Then selecting pics that to my mind aren’t too bad and uploading them to Flickr. And occasionally finding that some people actually like some of them! Vindication!
You cannot imagine how much pleasure I get when someone expresses a liking for one of my pics! I try to kid myself they’re being genuine and not just polite or friendly. Sometimes I succeed.

Well, let’s quantify all this. At time of writing I’ve uploaded nearly 8.5k of pics to Flickr. (Bloody hell. Its scary. Just as well I’m digital and not film! Well, only the odd film shot here and there.) Of which 8.5k there are less than a hundred I really, genuinely, personally rate. Doesn’t say much for 3+ years’ of effort does it?

And here’s a thought that I discussed with one of my new photo-chums the other day… given that everything digital is so much quicker than the equivalent… er… “analogue”, what would 3+ years’ of digital photography experience equate to in film photography terms? Or, putting it another way, given average (or maybe slightly less than average!) income, how many years would it have taken to accumulate a body of 8.5k film photographs?
In context of the general gist of this post, such a consideration is really quite depressing.

Perceptions

One thing that this past three years or so has achieved for me though is to change, or perhaps help to formulate in my mind, the way I “see” photography.

Hitherto I can’t really say I’d thought much about it at all. At worst, I didn’t think about it. At best, to me it was either purely a hobby, or a commodity that was bought and sold in relation to demand. In other words, a “commercial product”.

Wedding photography? A service purchased by the participants as a souvenir (and to remind them) of the “happy occasion”.
Product photography? Commissioned and paid for by companies wanting to flog their stuff.
“News” photography (what I’d now think of as documentary or photojournalism)? Images used to illustrate a “story”. Very secondary to the words. (Words provide context. For me, without the words photographs are just pictures… almost totally devoid of any meaning or significance… said with due deference to my earlier remarks about “meaning”.)

All that stuff about a picture being worth a 1000 words is a load of bullshit far as I’m concerned. Or at the very least it certainly doesn’t mean a picture replaces words. A picture’s diddly-squat without at least some words to provide a context.

And everything else, in my mind, would fall into the category of either “hobby” (very much in the vaguely derogatory “trainspotting” sense) or “something tourists do when on holiday”. Or maybe mementos of special occasions… something personal to share with a private circle of friends and family (if one has any!).

Incidentally, I find that’s one of the really odd things about photography. “Personal photography” at least (as opposed to commercial photography). Whilst seeming to me to be a quite solitary, conceivably even self-indugent and selfish, pursuit (notwithstanding the ability to join in “photo outings” with others), the end product seems to be rather pointless unless it is shared. I sense some sort of a contradiction there somewhere.

But I’ve now begun to understand that photography (to its practitioners anyway) can be a helluva lot more serious and profound than anything implied by the foregoing. (And probably a helluva lot more serious and profound to photographers themselves than to anyone else… likely “non-photographers” couldn’t really give a toss!)

And I’ve had cause to think about this… deeply!

One particular dimension of this (that will be familiar to some of the more regular visitors here) is the whole notion of “Photography as Art”.

I’ve probably been vaguely aware of this concept for many years. But never really thought much about it, dismissing it as not worthy of attention.
That situation is now vastly different. Since myself becoming engaged by this “Art” (though I shudder in using that term) I’ve given it considerable thought… and not been hesitant in expressing my opinion! (For a typical example, see the comments appended to this post.)

I’ve also learned that there are certain styles or types of photography that I like… and some that I absolutely don’t! And there are definitely some processing techniques that I earnestly hope I never find myself using.

And I’ve learned that the crappiest photography imaginable (in every sense you can conceive) will undoubtedly be liked by someone, somewhere. And not just liked, but lauded as “great” and “awesome” and “truly inspiring”.
Guess that just lends weight to the adage “There’s no accounting for taste”!

So yes, my perception of photography has changed, perhaps quite significantly. But I’m not entirely certain I would regard that as progess, or as sufficient return for the time so far spent.

Wrap-up

I’m guessing that newcomers to the pursuit of photography will, if they are in the least concerned about the “quality” of their output (in terms of whatever criteria they choose to apply) at some stage experience periods of self-doubt and negativity such as I’m describing here.

I’m further guessing that these periods mark watersheds of sorts. Crisis points at which a person will either abandon the pursuit altogether or… er… not.

In my particular case I suspect I shall just carry on regardless and sod it all!

Simply because I actually enjoy photographing things and scenes that I see, and enjoy all the subsequent processing etc that goes with it. And the more I photograph them, so it seems the more I look for things to photograph. A sort of self-perpetuating cycle.

And because at the end of the day the only person I really need to please is myself.
Whether or not I’ll achieve any improvement is of course another matter entirely. And the truth is, its of no consequence to anyone other than myself anyway.

As a final thought, nor should I forget of course the so many aspects of photography (well, photographic kit to be more precise) that simply appeal to the gadget freak in me. And the fact that, being digital, it requires the use of computers. Oh joy! Oh glee! I just knew these damn infernal machines would eventually come in useful for something.

[Edited numerous times as additional thoughts have occurred to me. So, for 24 hours or so following the original post date this has been a "work in progress". Likely to be continued until the next post appears, whereupon I'll almost certainly lose interest in this one!
Final Edit: 08 December 2009. 22:02hrs - New paragraph in the Perceptions section.]

Who remembers my little gripe about the camera’s LCD and how deceptive it can be.
Deceptive nothing. Downright bloody lying is more like it!

Well, the saga continues.

This Tuesday just gone (yesterday that would be in fact) mate and I scoot out on yet another little photo sesh, this time heading for the location we’d originally intended as our destination last week but somehow ended up going in the opposite direction completely. Now there’s a surprise.

Anyway, off down to the river we take ourselves. Not the stretch I normally amble along, but west of the town bridge instead.

And whaddya know? Bloody LCD is, I suspect, lying to me again.

In fairness it has to be said that normally I rely much more upon the histogram for exposure info, but I still like to check the image itself for general appearance and stuff.

And they all look totally washed out. But this time, instead of just rolling with it and hoping for the best, I waste the next half-dozen shots or so tinkering with various settings. Just as well I’m shooting digital and not film. But then, were I shooting film I wouldn’t be having this issue, would I?
The histogram’s telling me one thing, the damned image is telling me another.

What to believe? Oh bugger. Perhaps there’s a fault with the camera. After all, I have knocked out a fair few shots on it. Maybe it needs an oil change or something. Or whatever it is they do to them.

So I begin to get that horrible sinking feeling one experiences on first discovering that, maybe, all is not quite right with one’s world.

I’m also a little concerned that I may have been heard muttering something along the lines of “There’s nothing else for it. I’m gonna have to read the manual.”
Oh, how low can one sink?

So mournfully firing off a few more shots, ever so gradually a little “thing” begins to niggle at the back of my brain. A suspicion. No. A hint of a suspicion.
Which, as we progressed on our way, with me clicking here and there, begins to crystallise into something rather more cogent.

A thought of something I may conceivably have done a few weeks back, when it was really bright and sunny.

No. Surely not. I wouldn’t have, would I? And surely I wouldn’t forget if I had… would I?

Hmm.

Time for a discrete check of certain menu settings methinks. Discrete cos mate’s loitering nearby damn sneaky sod that he is, ready and eager to pounce on any merest trace of the senility he’s convinced has possessed me.

Oops. Damn! Bugger! Sure enough, there’s the evidence before my very eyes… LCD brightness set to… er… +2! Now I wonder how that happened?

Ho hum.

Well at least all’s right again with my world… for the time being at least.

Oh… on another matter entirely…

Seems there’s two basic types of user on Flickr. Those who like cats. And those who don’t. Well, maybe that’s putting it a bit strongly. Let’s just say those who don’t care for them quite as much.
This can be further refined into those who’re constantly uploading pics of “pretty kitty” onto Flickr, and those who’re constantly berating those who are constantly uploading pics of “pretty kitty” onto Flickr.

Needless to say, I fall into the category of those who don’t care overmuch for them.

Nevertheless, seems its fairly obligatory (in the sense of being an unwritten rule that’s unthinkingly endorsed in its observance) to have at least one cat shot in one’s photostream.

Well, I’ve finally done it! Here ya go. Here’s my obligatory kitty pic for Flickr…

Heh heh.

There’s me, lurking in the Flickr Central group as I’m prone and there’s me spotting a thread “But is it art?”. So clearly my lurking’s gonna take a more specific turn. Heh heh.

Well, apparently the thread was prompted by this article on the BBC website, which of course I had to visit as well.

I think my favourite quote, from the comments section of the BBC page, is:

“Sorry but to me it’s just another load of artistic twaddle !!!.”

Capped only by this from the Flickr Central thread (with a quick credit to Mike Foster):

“Art is what is considered by pretentious twats trying to sell you something to be art. This is the rule of art.

A similar analogy is the fable of the Emperor’s New Clothes.”

Er… yes… precisely!

So what the hell’s up with Flickr tonight then?

One minute its accessible, then the next it isn’t. Then it is again. Then it isn’t. And so on, seemingly ad infinitum.
Enough to make me pull my hair out. If I had any to pull out that is.

And why does it have to happen when I want to do something? Damned inconsiderate I call it!

Actually I think its Yahoo more than Flickr cos, coincidentally of course, all Yahoo services appear to be performing in the same manner. Or rather, sporadically not performing. And we all know that Flickr’s now owned by Yahoo.

Maybe they’re being got at by Google or something?

Just as well its still serving up images to external sites, else this blog would be well and truly buggered, though there was even a momentary glitch with that a little while ago

Even so, its still bloody inconsiderate! Think I’ll have to… er… um… have a cup of coffee or something.

Update 20:37 Its back again… about five minutes after posting the foregoing!

Update 20:41 Gone again!

Update 21:06 Back again. And that’s the way its been this evening. See what I mean? (And I can’t be bothered to do any more updates either!)

Hmm… with a rather detached and somewhat masochistic interest (you know… the sort of interest/curiosity that prompts you to keep on probing an imminently aching tooth with your tongue… you know you shouldn’t do it cos it’ll turn the imminent ache into a real pain, but somehow you just can’t resist) I’ve been observing the antics of a particular Flickr user regarding some (well, quite a few actually) of my pics.

This particular user seems to have been “favouriting” quite a lot of them.
Nowt wrong with that of course, ‘cept they’re all on a certain theme. And there’s no comments been added, no contact been made. Nothing. Just this faving business. (Aside from anything else that’s a bit bloody unsociable… says he, renowned for his antisocial tendencies!)
So, intrigued (and guessing the visitor’s motives from their rather giveaway nickname), I visit their profile.

Curiouser and curiouser. Although not altogether surprising at this stage.

They don’t appear to have uploaded any pics of their own… leastways, none that are publicly available. Yet lots of “favourites”… not just from my ’stream, but from those of others as well.
And if confirmation were needed regarding their motive, well, here it is.
All those faves appear related to the male torso in various poses and guises.
Clearly what we have here is a member of the “gay” community. And as if proof were needed, a quick scan of the Flickr groups he’s joined is it (if indeed he is a “he”! And if “he” isn’t, well, that raises all sorts of other questions.).

And the ones this character has “faved” of mine? Well, they all seem to come from my collection of “cop shots”. Y’know, the ones I take to (generally) document the antics and misbehaviour of cops at protests and suchlike.
So perhaps this Flickr user has a thing about cops in uniform. (I never realised cops in uniform were so popular… until I started uploading pics of them to Flickr. I suspect such a fascination could almost merit an in-depth discussion on the psychology thereof. Hmm.)

Ok, whatever turns you on I s’pose. Must confess there’s been a couple of cute female cops that I’ve snapped because… well, not cos they were “misbehaving” in typical cop fashion but cos they were… er… cute. Oops. (The fact that they happened to also be cops in uniform was merely incidental from my viewpoint… just gave me a legitimate excuse reason to snap ‘em!)

(One thing I haven’t done though is to browse other folks’ streams in a quest for pics of cute female cops. Hmm. Now there’s a thought! But no, I can’t really be bothered.)

However (back on topic) I’m not too sure how I react to all of this.

A part of me finds it distinctly distasteful. Though I’m not too sure why. But then rationality and common sense kicks in.

The reality is that if one puts pics “out there” then the fact is that there’s actually very little or nothing one can do about how those pics are perceived… or even used by others.
One could of course jump through hoops (only upload thumbnails, make them private, create Flash slideshows instead of uploading “raw” pics, embed totally disfiguring watermarks blah blah blah) but then what’s the point of joining a photo sharing community in the first place? None, I woulda thought.

And again, who are we to try second-guessing the reasons why someone may like/enjoy certain of our pics… or the purposes to which they’re put?

No point in getting paranoid about it. Its a simple choice: either upload pics to the ‘web for all to “enjoy” (and for whatever reason)… or don’t!

And, I have to say, I have no real issues (moral or otherwise) with the gay community.

Yeah, I may have my own personal feelings about it and that particular predilection but the bottom line is, its their life and up to them how they choose to live it. May not be my thing, but that doesn’t mean I have to be judgmental or condemnatory either.

Each to his (or her) own basically… providing it doesn’t interfere with me living my life. Or causing harm to others.

Hell, one of my most valued Flickr contacts is self-confessedly gay. Yet there’s nothing dodgy about him at all. We’ve met “in the real world” and he’s a great guy. Plus he takes super pics (of all sorts of things) and I love browsing his ’stream. Never had a moment’s concern about him or his interests at all. (Though I have a sneaking feeling my “in yer face” attitude to cops on protests causes him some concern!)

But getting back to this other character, I still can’t shake the feeling that there’s something distinctly seedy about his behaviour on Flickr. I guess the homosexual community has its fair share of seedy characters in the same way that the heterosexual community has.

Or p’raps he’s just shy?

I did initially think about including a link to his Flickr profile in this post… but on second thoughts it struck me as not being an entirely ethical thing to expose a user’s behaviour publicly and positively identify them. After all, we’re all entitled to some degree of privacy, even online.
And its not as though he’s doing anything technically wrong… though it does seem to be rather in conflict with the spirit of what Flickr’s about (or what I understood it to be about). Perhaps that’s what I find disturbing… the implicit onanism of the behaviour.

Which sense is encouraged, I suspect, by an expectation I appear to have unwittingly acquired that if a significant number of one’s Flickr pics are being “faved” by a particular user then at some stage that user will at the very least acknowledge one’s contributions to the Flickr community by a courtesy Flickrmail… or something.
On the other hand, would I really want to be contacted by such a seemingly creepy person? Probably not.

Of course, much more satisfactory would be if that user also had pics of their own (and preferably not of the male torso exclusively!) to share with the Flickr community at large. Its just damn rude and selfish otherwise. And… er… creepy!

P.S. The behaviour pattern I’ve described above isn’t particularly unusual on Flickr. Accounts of similar behaviour patterns pop up periodically in discussions in the Flickr Central group. Its just that this is the first time I’ve had personal experience of it. Its a tad unsettling.

Not a lot photo-wise this week. Basically just a few cloud pics.

Snapped ‘em whilst waiting at the bus stop. Was seriously tempted to snap a few more but the bus came along so… er… I didn’t.
Shame really as they began to develop into something quite interesting. Oh well.

Also a coupla shots of a silly little leaflet I spotted at the ol’ watering hole and about which, in my honoured capacity as a guest contributor, I have a few choice words on mate’s Zombies blog. Heh heh.

I’ve not been entirely idle though. Gave the old home site a bit of a revamp. Nothing really major for most of it but did add a new page with a load of slideshows on. (It was selecting the pics and creating the slideshows that’s taken most of my time the past coupla days!)
All the pics (or versions thereof at least) appear somewhere in my Flickr photostream but the selections are a sort of “distillation” of the better ones (well, in my opinion anyway) and structured around different themes. And they’re in slideshow format of course.
If anyone wants to check them out they’re here.

And that’ll be about my lot for this week I suspect.