Oops!

Sunday, eightish in the morning, approaching the arse-end of February. Not everyone’s best time of day. Or week. Or year even. Certainly not mine.

So there am I, flopping about in bed, peering blearily around through sleep-filled eyes, waiting still for the mind to catch up with my half-awake state.

Gaze blankly toward the window. Blink. Gaze blankly some more.

And slowly, ever so slowly, impressions begin to seep into my befuddled brain…

Sod it. I’m awake!

Yep, definitely awake. Well, practically.

And its daylight out there.

And there’s something happening. The window looks all funny.

Gradually dawns on me that its raining. Um. Funny kind of rain. Big, slow rain. Lazy, you might say. Sort of drifty, flakey sort of rain. And white. Like big lumps of ash or something.

Oh bugger… its snow! Yet more bloody snow.

So I lay there a while, pondering. Wondering about the nature of stuff that’s probably snow but looks like its trying to turn to rain.
Do I want to react to this? Do I, for example, want to make the effort of getting up and grabbing a few pics say? Just for example.

Er… no. Not really.

I lay there a while longer, annoyed somewhat that even the thought of taking a few pics has occurred to me. Cos now the idea’s lodged in my brain (all one cell of it) it won’t go away… a bit like some undigested lump of something rather smelly and unpleasant.

Perhaps, I begin to ruminate, I could just get up briefly, grab the camera, fire off a quick coupla shots through the window in the next room, then dive straight back into my festering pit. And return to the welcoming arms of slumber. Hmm.

I play the scene over in my mind for a while, visualising all the highly complex steps necessary to achieve the desired result… which basically is to end up back precisely where I am now.

It wouldn’t be entirely accurate to say “no sooner said than done” cos I’m still in this semi-somnolent state. And only too well aware of the utter stupidity of hauling arse out of bed just to get a few more totally boring and what’ll probably turn out to be really crappy shots of… er… falling snow. Falling snow that can’t quite decide whether to be snow or rain.

Well, if there’s one thing about me that’s virtually guaranteed its this… once I get a really stupid idea I’ll almost certainly run with it.
So I did. Not run in this case though. More like crawl tortoise-style.

Drag myself out of bed, stumble ungracefully into the computer room (en route briefly contemplating the possibility of brewing up a mug of coffee), and ferret around for the Lumix.
Camera found, switch on; remove lens cap (courtesy of the really nice little reminder on the LCD screen to do such… how considerate); draw curtain aside; fling open window; lean out; fire off a couple of shots across the bows of neighbour’s garden.

Well, that was all pretty dull and uninteresting.

Hmm. Gotta liven this up somehow. Make the effort worthwhile sort of thing.
So off downstairs and, with a sneaky detour via the kitchen to switch on the kettle (that thought of a coffee has become increasingly tempting by the minute), open wide the front door.
Loiter on the doorstep contemplating the possibilities and finally settle on a pic or two of the snow settling on t’other neighbour’s van.

By which time its beginning to intrude upon my consciousness that I appear to be getting quite chilly. Bloody cold in fact. Every little bit of me. So much so that some little bits of me are even littler now, having been exposed to the icy temperature.

Um.

And its at this point that I become uncomfortably aware of something else. Like I haven’t actually any clothes on. Not as such.
And that big tree that used to serve so well in obscuring the house frontage, hence ensuring my privacy from the prying eyes that’re undoubtedly lurking behind the upper windows of the houses opposite, is no longer there.

Oops!

Probably best I retire indoors before a bevvy of cops turns up in response to complaints that there’s a loony old rustic type madly exposing himself to all and sundry.

Back to bed then, with mug of freshly-brewed coffee grasped firmly in mitt. And whaddya know? I’m now fully awake. Damn and blast!